I didn't want to write this article.

I avoided it for a long time but as soon as I started writing about it, the words started to flow.

The word pedophile is a bad one no matter how you look at it.

But we can't ignore that no matter how long a pedophile is punished for, no matter how many laws are put in place, children are still abused everyday. Why is that?

Because, like every other crime, someone decides to cross that line and break the law.

Here’s a fact: not talking about a problem never solves the problem.

We need to also focus on prevention.

This #metoo was the final push that it took for me to put this out there. Because seeing the perspective of the victims and their immense suffering can speak no words.

Don't even get me started on the Michael Jackson Leaving Neverland Documentary.

He did it. Plain and simple. Michael Jackson was a pedophile.

And if your rebuttal for victims who come forward years later is: why didn’t they come forward sooner? Then you’re asking the wrong question and you’ve already lost the argument.
​
I digress. What I want to discuss is The Neurobiology and Psychology of Pedophilia

What makes you want to do something like that with a child? How could you have that desire?

This is what I asked my friend while we ate lunch outside on the deck of the restaurant, the sun beating down on us.

Of course. It starts in the mind.

That's where the neurobiology and psycholody of pedophilia come in. It's a double edged sword. You shouldn't talk about it, but talking about it will help.

Let's start of with what defines a pedophile.

The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders defines a pedophile as an individual who “over a period of at least six months” has “recurrent, intense sexually arousing fantasies, sexual urges, or behaviors involving sexual activity with a prepubescent child or children.” This person also has to have “acted on these sexual urges, or the sexual urges or fantasies cause marked distress or interpersonal difficulty,” and be “at least age 16 years and at least five years older than the child or children” involved.

A memory I haven’t forgotten to this day was when I was around 4-5 years old.

I can’t remember my exact age but I knew I was young and hadn’t hit puberty.

My older brother had a friend who has since become a close friend. They were both older than me by 4 years. We all got along. But there were multiple times when his friend would corner me and try to just hold me. I felt very uncomfortable. One moment in particular was when the four of us were playing (me, my sister, my brother and said friend), my brother and sister ran up the stairs during a chase and I went to run after them only to be grabbed by my wrist to hold me back.

“Come here,” he'd always say.

“No. Let go.”

“Come on,” he'd press

I can’t remember what else was said but I let him hold me for a moment just to get it over with and shoved him away. Why did he always want to be so close to me? I found him weird.

Looking back, I often wonder what would have happened if the two of us were ever left alone. Maybe nothing at all or maybe he’d push the boundaries. Or maybe I’m over reacting and it was simply a crush or he wanted affection that he wasn’t getting from his parents broken marriage.

One thing I know for sure, Even as a child I knew something wasn’t right and I’m glad that I was able to get out of situations with him.

If you've managed to read this far, read this article about a non-offending pedophile's story or (trigger warning, description of a child being abused) this one.

To put it simply, this article inspired me to include a character in my book who is struggling and fighting with his pedophilia mind (please rest assured, the character is NON-OFFENDING. There are no acts of pedophilia in my book. Ever).

This is all very controversial and taboo but I still want to do it. Why? Because that's what books have been doing since the dawn of time, writing abut controversial topics and different perspectives.

If you suspect a child is being abused, contact the Childhelp National Child Abuse Headline. It's available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week:
(1-800) 4-A-Child or (1-800) 422-4453

If you yourself are suffering from pedophilia thoughts contact The Lucy Faithfull Foundation. It's hotline is 0808- 1000- 900


What controversial or taboo topics do you have in your book? What books would you recommend that have controversial characters?

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Thank you to the --- people (and counting) that have signed up to be notified of my book release! It means so much to me.

It made me think to create a list of all the things my book will and will not have so that you can go in with some expectations.

These are the ten things my book has elements of us and other things it doesn't have.

10 things it has:

1. Some swear words. Not an excessive amount. There are about 50 swear words in the 108,000 word count
2. Utopia: all citizens live in harmony inside the Empire
3. Light science fiction.  A world of driver less cars, worldwide banned plastic use, Canada is called the ___(Name. I'm choosing not to give this info)___Empire and is ruled by an Empress. 
4. Fantasy. Mars has Martians, people who left Earth to live on Mars.
5. Romance. A look at the love lives of various characters and how their relationships grow and change. 
6. Adult. The majority of my character are adults. Specifically ranging from 24-65
7. Young Adult. Only four characters are below the age of 18.
8. Diversity. I have characters who are White, Black, Indian, Russian, Chinese, Filipino, religious and non-religious 
9. Short Chapters, good pacing, action
10. *Hopefully* likable and relateable characters 

10 things you might not like:

1. A total of --- characters. In the first book (it will be a duology) there are 5 main characters and -- secondary characters
2. It is in third person. For example, "she said" "he said" "they went"
3. Different plots running parallel to one another
4. There's no magic. Or "flashy" sci-fi elements (e.g flying cars)
5. I'm a new author. Therefore, my writing might not be up to the standards of others and I don't have the experience of writing many books
6. Pretty much everything I listed above you'll disagree with
7. You won't like the characters 
8. You might find it boring :(
9. The cover of the book will change 
10. Tropes you hate 

There are some things I can't include because then it would be a spoiler for the book but I hoped you enjoyed this list.

What types of things does your book have? What's your favourite genre? 

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1. Kombucha 
Why not start this list off with a drink?

To put it simply, kombucha is a nutrient packed, (allegedly) gut healthy fermented tea. Just don't look up the word Scoby...

And green tea is amazing too. Actually, I think green tea- the real stuff- is even better. Not just because of it's benefits but because of how much more it's been studied compared to Kombucha. 

​If you'd like to be inspired to eat more healthy I encourage you to follow @eatrightfeelright.  She's a registered dietitian and I know her personally. Her content is amazingly beautiful. 

2. Apple slices. If you don't have this device you're missing out! 
​3. Xherry tomatoes with cheese 

4.a vegetable 
​5. pickles, and cheese with lettuce or cracks

6. Rice crackers 
​7.  

8.
​9. 
​10.

I wish I could recommend nuts but because of there high fat content they can easily get out of hand. If you do eat them only take a handful out of the bag or container and walk away. Don't eat out of the container. 

How confident are you in marketing your work? They go hand in hand. 

We all want to say we're doing it for the love of it or as a hobby but we also want to sell something that we know others will like and need in your life.

Confidence takes years to build and has its ups and downs, the more you work at it the better. Marketing is no different. These tips will give you some ideas and make the process slightly easier. 

10 ways to increase your confidence:

1. Visualize yourself being successful
2. Tell yourself you can do it repeatedly. Out loud.
3. Join Toastmasters. Or any type of public speaking group that will make you get comfortable with being uncomfortable.
4. Find those that support you. People who support you as a person and your ideas and goals. 
5. Progress, not perfection. 
6. Get comfortable with rejection and disappointment. The more you accept you circumstances and move on, the more confident you'll become. I plan on adding this book to my reading list: Rejection Proof: 100 Days of Rejection
7. Help others. By being confident in your ability to help others, you'll inadvertently be confident in helping yourself. 
8. Learn to say, "No." You can't do everything and shouldn't have to.
9. Deliver your best work. Don't half-ass the important stuff. If you know you did well, it will show.
10. Work on self-improvement. Go to the gym, eat better, study your topic of interest more etc. Improving yourself will improve your confidence.

10 ways to increase your marketing:

1. Word of mouth. Tell friends & family, build your network so it will eventually build itself.
2. Start before you finish or even begin your book or launch your product. The earlier the better!
3. Take action. Even if you hire someone to help, you still have to do the work.
4. Know your audience. Who are you writing for? Cater it specifically to them. 
5. Create a marketing plan. Check out how I planned and created a year's worth of content
6. Build an email list. Keep them in the know so you can contact them once you're book is released! 
7. Get people excited. Announce your website launch and/or book release in advance and promote it. If you don't talk about it no one else will.
8. Look towards other authors for inspiration and guidance. Learn from their success and failures.
9. Create videos. More than 80% of social media users look at videos.
10. Network. Make friends, go to writing conferences, writer's groups etc. Tell these people about your book and they may be willing to share it with their network. 

If you want more tips and 71 ways to promote and market your book click here.

How have you increased your confidence? How have you developed your book marketing?

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I struggled with this for a long time.

I STILL struggle with this. 
​
However, there's no denying how important it is. If you can't speak about it in confidence no one else will and you'll give a bad impression.
​
Follow these 4 beginner steps to confidently answer the loaded question, 
"What is your book about?"

1. Plan it out
Take out a piece of paper and write down the main elements of your book. The personality of the character(s), the setting, the genre or anything else you think highlights the uniqueness of your book. 
​​

2. Know your elevator pitch 
Check out this blog post. It helped me immensely. I can't explain it any better than he did and I'm too lazy too haha. 

3. Say it aloud
I think this is one of the most important parts. Look in a mirror and practice your elevator pitch so you eliminate as many stumbles and misconstrued facial expressions as possible. 

4. Practice
This is similar to the previous point but this time you're going to practice it on friends and family and even strangers if the topic comes up. The more you do it the better you'll get and the more refined it will become. 

Summary:
1. Plan out the aspects of the book 
2. Create an elevator pitch 
3. Say it aloud to yourself
4. Practice on friends and family  


What kinds of things have you been doing to speak about your novel with confidence? 

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I've made a lot of my mistakes in my life and have learned from them and still continue to learn from them.

Now, as simple as it sounds, I can clearly see the difference of doing something I don't enjoy and not doing it well, to doing something I love and doing it amazingly. Does that make sense?

If you love writing your book and you think you're doing something special why not talk about it with pride? Show your pride and excitement because it's contagious. 

Easier said than done.

In fact, whenever I talk to someone about my book there’s this nagging voice in the back of my head that says, “What are you talking about? This is so silly. You’re not even talking about real people or real things. They don't really care....” But I shove the voice away and keep talking. 

I wrote a good book. I know I did. 

I’m tooting my own horn I know. I’m #feelingmyself.

I’m being confident and that's okay.

​That's why I'm shamelessly and unapologetically going to remind you to:

• Sign up for my book release notification (I'll only contact you when the book is close to release) 
• Subscribe to my journal entries (1x/week blog post).

What situations made you understand an important life lesson? Write in the comments something you're confident about!



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If order for something to a priority, you have to make it one. Which means you'll have to reduce or take another task out of your life if not momentarily.

This could be simply putting off the dishes so you can write or something more substantial like - and shh, I still haven't told anyone about this - take a a day off work to write.

I know! I'm so bad! How can I give you such advice?

But on days like this, I'm able to accomplish so much more. 

I just sit there with my thoughts flowing onto the screen in the words of words, then sentences and then a beautiful story. I immerse myself in the world I've created or the book I'm reading. 

So yea, that's my two cents and this applies to anything in life. If you want something to happen you have to MAKE it happen. 

What sacrifices have you made in order to write more? 

 
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This is a matter of opinion.

Recently I watched a YouTube video about how second books in a series are always hard to write. I agree but I also disagree.

They shouldn't be hard to write if you wait before you publish your first novel and finish the entire series first. 

This way, you can make changes throughout all the novels without having to worry about being stuck with the way you made things in the first one if you published it.

You'll have the freedom to make changes across the board as you please. This is exactly what I'm doing with my book which will be a duology (only 2 books instead of traditional 3).

Not only that but when you get a good idea or have a good scene, think about adding it to the second or third book, spread it out so you don't put all the good stuff in the first book. 

So please, unless you have no other choice, wait before you publish your first novel, finish the entire series first. Why wouldn't you? 


What do you think? Do you agree or disagree?

 
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With the recent passing of 420 I felt I needed to right this pot. I didn’t want to. In fact, I avoided it for a long time. 

But what the heck, why not?

When I smoke weed I get so many ideas that my mind is racing. I feel like I have to grab onto one and try not to let it go, do something about it (write it down) before quickly moving onto the next one.

Right now, I’ve already been inspired and drafted three other blog posts. 

This brings me to the downside of smoking weed while I write. There’s so many ideas I get that it can stress me out for a bit. 

For instance, right now I’m cooking, making our lunches, washing the dishes, writing my book, editing my website, making this blog post, and I just remembered I needed to message my friend to see how he’s doing and reply to an email I just remember I’m late responding to. 

Phew! Trying saying all that without commas! 

Keep in mind, not every idea that weed inspired was a good one but that's okay too. 

What do you think? 

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Do you have to give money to support a cause?

If you didn't already guess, the answer is no.

You don't have to give money in order to give and you don't have to buy my book or books from other authors to support them. There are other things you can do.

One of the major things you can do is request/recommend a book to the library and/or book store.  

If you don't feel comfortable doing that, here are 6 other ways to support an author:​​

1. Review it!
​We're all guilty of not giving reviews (you should​ feel guilty). We buy a product and we may really like it but we're too lazy to review it.

Don't be like that.

It takes less than a minute and they deserve it if they delivered a good product or book. 

2. Check it out at your library
​Even though you're not buying the book it shows the author how far the book has reached in other parts of the world and it gets the word out there. 

3. Share it on social media 
Everyone is an influencer. Whether you have 100 followers or 10. By taking a picture, talking about it in a post or sharing a video, you're getting the name out there. Every little bit counts. 

4. Follow them on social media
Most authors are online these days (and if you're not well...you're missing out on opportunities unfortunately).

It's as simple as clicking "follow". You'll add to their growing followers list and give them recognition. 

5. Face a book out on shelves 
If you're at a bookstore or library let it be shown if you see it tucked away somewhere, not doing it justice. Put that gorgeous cover on display!

6. Recommend it to a book club 
This is a sure-fire way to get it out there and to get people talking about it. 

​
Do you support authors? In what way? What did I miss on this list?

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